Autumn 2026·8 min read·Bruce Tollefson

When your parent should stop driving

The signs families notice, how Minnesota reviews an unsafe driver, and who covers the errands afterward.

Why this comes up

For most families this starts with something they notice. There is a new scrape on the rear bumper that nobody explains. A parent who used to drive to Stillwater for lunch will not go past the grocery store now. A phone call comes in asking which exit to take on a road they have driven for thirty years.

Then you go looking for a rule. Most families ask about an age cutoff first, which is a fair question. Minnesota licenses do not expire because of the driver's age, and the state does not require a road test at seventy-five. There is no official standard to point at, so the family has to make the judgment.

So if you feel behind on this, it is because nothing in the system tells a family when to start.

What to watch for

Watch for new damage on the car that comes with a vague story, and for a parent who loses track of where they are on a familiar route. Some drivers quietly narrow what they will attempt: no left turns across traffic, no highway merges, nothing after dark, nothing in the rain. Other people may mention near misses to you before your parent does. At intersections, look for slow reactions, riding the brake, or drifting between lanes. Notice if a family member has stopped riding along.

No single sign settles the question, and keeping track of them is a reasonable thing for a family member to do. Write down what you see, with dates, because a doctor or an evaluator will ask for exactly that.

The Minnesota Office of Traffic Safety describes the underlying issue as "declining cognitive, vision and physical abilities," and notes that most crashes involving older drivers happen during daylight, so limiting a parent to daytime driving does less than families expect.

Driving late in life is common, and most older drivers are careful. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that in 2022 there were almost 52 million licensed drivers ages 65 and older in the United States, that about 9,100 older adults were killed in traffic crashes that year, and that more than 270,000 were treated in emergency departments for crash injuries.

The conversation

You have probably been putting this off, and you know how it will go.

Bring one specific thing instead of a general worry, because "you are not safe anymore" invites an argument, while "I saw the new dent on the passenger side and it scared me" gives your parent something to answer. Ask what they have noticed themselves, and then wait, because many older drivers have already privately stopped doing the parts of driving they no longer trust. Talk about the errands and leave the license out of it: where they need to go each week, and how those trips could still happen. Have the conversation before a crash. Afterward it gets held in a hospital hallway with a social worker present, and it is an awkward conversation to have early and a much worse one to have late.

It usually takes more than one sitting, and the first conversation often gets a defensive response. A parent who refuses at first may raise the subject again months later. Our post on how to talk to a parent who does not want help goes further into that situation.

When you cannot wait for agreement

Sometimes the risk is immediate and your parent will not hear it. Minnesota has a process for that, and most families do not know it exists.

Anyone concerned about an unsafe driver can ask Driver and Vehicle Services to examine that driver. Many families find this step harder than the others. You are requesting an examination. DVS makes the finding.

You submit a form called Request for Examination of Driver, PS31924, or write a letter to the DVS Medical Unit with the driver's name, date of birth, license number, your concerns, and your contact information.

Reports from family members are confidential. The Minnesota Department of Public Safety states on its at-risk driver page that if you are related to the driver, your statement is confidential, and that your identity will not be shared with the driver unless ordered by a court of law. You do not have to choose between your parent's safety and your relationship with them.

What the state does with the report

According to the Department of Public Safety, DVS schedules an appointment for your parent with a driver evaluator. After that interview, the evaluator may require your parent to submit a written physician's or vision statement and pass a driver's license test. If the concerns hold up, your parent has to turn in the license. Many families dread that outcome. The state makes the finding.

The examination is a review with several possible outcomes. Some drivers keep the license afterward, sometimes with restrictions, and others lose it. The decision is made by an evaluator who does this work every day.

The Department of Public Safety also notes that every driver must pass a vision check when applying for or renewing a license, so an eye problem sometimes surfaces at renewal without anyone filing anything.

If dementia is part of the picture

Driving is often the first thing a family notices after a dementia diagnosis, and it tends to be the hardest to hold the line on, because a parent may not remember the conversation you had last week or the agreement you reached in it.

You can explain it again, and it usually does not hold. That is the illness at work, not your explaining. Families end up relying on removing the keys, moving the car out of sight, or asking the physician to put the recommendation in writing. Parents often accept written instructions from a doctor more readily than the same advice from a daughter, and many families use that.

If dementia is the reason driving is ending, the rest of the week usually needs looking at too, since the same judgment affects cooking, medications, and going out alone. Our page on dementia care at home covers how families structure those hours.

Who does the driving now

Families often settle the question of the keys and then find that nobody has worked out who drives to the pharmacy next week.

Add up what a week really contains: groceries, the pharmacy, two or three appointments a month, the hair appointment, church, the friend they have coffee with. If all of that lands on one adult child who works, it will not hold for more than a few months.

Write the week down before you look for help. Note which trips are fixed and which are flexible, which ones your parent cares about most, and which hours you and your siblings can genuinely cover. Written out, the number of trips is usually higher than families expect, and you may find you cannot cover as many of them as it looks like on paper.

Where the rides come from

There are usually four sources, and most families use a mix.

Family and neighbors cover the flexible trips. Be specific, since "call me if you need anything" gets used far less than "I will take Thursday mornings."

Public and community transportation covers more than people expect. The Metropolitan Council describes Metro Mobility as "a shared ride public transportation service for certified riders who are unable to use regular fixed-route buses due to a disability or health condition." Riders complete a two-part application and certification form first, so it helps to start that early. Many cities and counties also run volunteer driver programs.

Minnesota Aging Pathways is the place to call to find out which of those exist in your parent's county. It is a free, statewide service of the Minnesota Board on Aging, in partnership with Minnesota's area agencies on aging, reachable at 800-333-2433 from 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. on weekdays. Those hours are difficult for anyone working a daytime job. The service is free, does not sell care, and will tell you what exists near your parent. We wrote more about what they do in free help for East Metro families arranging care.

Paid in-home care covers the trips where your parent needs a person with them. A ride service drops your mother at the clinic door. A caregiver goes into the appointment with her, hears what the doctor says, carries the groceries up the steps, and sees what the kitchen looks like. Agencies usually file this under companionship and household support, and it is why many families start with two or three visits a week instead of daily care.

Ask any agency directly: do your caregivers drive clients, and in whose vehicle? Policies differ between agencies. Any agency should be able to answer in one sentence, and a long or unclear answer is worth following up on.

What can wait

The license and the car are separate decisions, and you do not have to make them in the same week. Many families keep the car in the driveway for months after the driving stops. Parents often agree to let someone else drive it well before they agree to sell it.

You also do not have to solve the whole week at once. Start with the two or three trips that worry you most.

And if you are quietly wondering whether the house is the next question, that one can wait its turn. When to consider a move covers it for whenever you get there.

Where to start

Start by writing down your parent's actual week of trips. You will use that list in the conversations that follow, including one with us, and our guide to hours at home covers how those trips add up to hours. The call to Minnesota Aging Pathways can wait until you have the list.

If some of those trips need a caregiver to go along, a nurse from Abloom Senior Living can come to your parent's home and talk through what a schedule would look like. You do not have to decide anything at that visit. We provide in-home care in people's own homes across Woodbury and the East Metro, under a comprehensive home care license from the Minnesota Department of Health. If we are not the right fit for what your family needs, we will say so and suggest who else to call. You can request a visit whenever you are ready.

This article is general information from a care provider and is not legal, financial, or medical advice. Rules and programs change.

Frequently asked questions

Does Minnesota take away a driver's license at a certain age?

No. Minnesota licenses do not expire because of the driver's age, and there is no state road test required at a particular birthday. The Department of Public Safety does require every driver to pass a vision check when applying for or renewing a license, so a vision problem can surface at renewal.

Can I report my parent as an unsafe driver without them finding out it was me?

The Minnesota Department of Public Safety states that if you are related to the driver, your statement is confidential, and that your identity will not be shared with the driver unless ordered by a court of law. You submit the Request for Examination of Driver form, PS31924, or write to the DVS Medical Unit.

What happens after somebody reports an unsafe driver to Minnesota DVS?

According to the Department of Public Safety, DVS schedules an appointment for the driver with a driver evaluator. After that interview, the evaluator may require a written physician's or vision statement and a driver's license test. If the concerns hold up, the driver has to surrender the license.

My parent has dementia and will not stop driving. What can we do?

Repeating the explanation rarely holds, because the conversation may not be remembered. Families generally rely on removing the keys, moving the car out of sight, and asking the physician to put the recommendation in writing, since written medical instructions tend to carry more weight than a family member's request.

Who drives my parent once they stop driving?

Most families use a mix: family and neighbors for flexible trips, public and community transportation such as Metro Mobility for certified riders, volunteer driver programs run by cities and counties, and paid in-home care for the trips where somebody needs to go along and help. Minnesota Aging Pathways at 800-333-2433 can tell you what exists in your parent's county.

Sources

All field notes Arrange a visit